RE Verse reading–Acts 9:1-22, 26-28 (day five) “Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples” (vs 1) It is a small word. It reveals a big problem. Saul was STILL breathing out threats. It refers to a course of action that continues even after sufficient cause is given to pause and reconsider. It describes the person who resists the Holy Spirit, ignores the “still small voice” of conscience and stubbornly continues down the previously selected path. It must have been difficult for Saul to watch Stephen die. (Acts 6) It must have also been difficult to hear and ignore the prayers for mercy from the Christians that he arrested and murdered. (Acts 26) There were many warning signs for Saul. He ignored them all. Standing before the assembly that would condemn him, Martin Luther said , “My conscience is captive to the Word of God. . . it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience”. Paul is learning this same lesson.
I was grieving yesterday… my heart so broken. God in His faithfulness used it to send me such a clear lesson/directive. As I listened to Christians anticipate/make much of not the possibility of experiencing His presence/truly worshipping Him in the assembly but giving into the lusts of the flesh/lust of the eyes and pride of life in anticipating being pleased by the “scenery” (as usual) instead, I became so angry/disappointed. Interesting how the pain of this world can help you to really “see” yourself and others.
Then the call came. As I cried, how long oh Lord until you give the people a leader after your own heart?… He spoke to me in so many ways about my own sinful heart. The one who “sees” must pray forward him who does not. Only God knows what He has in store for someone. The lesson is a deep one for my own life. As I worshipped in the presence of the Lord tonight my desire overall did not change… it is Good…but what is required from me became so clear as I gained the Lord’s perspective.
Father, I am grateful.