RE Verse reading–Matthew 3 (day two). “Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is near” (Matthew 3:2) And maybe you don’t believe anymore that Kingdom life is possible. Not for you at least. Too many disappointments. Too many failed attempts at “being good”. Unconsciously you have settled into an expectation of mediocrity, a disbelief that Romans 8:4 is really true ( ” in order that the requirement of the Law might be FULFILLED in us who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the SPIRIT”) It is a sad state because repentance is fueled by Kingdom hope. Our motivation for “changing our minds” (ie repentance) is that we are still convinced that Kingdom life is POSSIBLE by God’s grace. Maybe this is why the Father is careful to praise Jesus. “I am well pleased” (Matthew 3:17) The thought and hope of Him saying this to me, keeps me at the hard task of changing my mind. Do you believe that Kingdom is still possible for you?
Yes, I do. It is my daily hope and aspiration. The Word speaks many times about those who have their hope in the Lord and how faithful He is. I am counting on it.
Yet, I have struggled so many days with not having any (real) idea how to do this. I have “victories” or times when I think I am on the right track, but these are sure to be followed by such a sense of “being lost” (not my salvation… but just lost in the whole big plan) that it is shocking. I often feel almost paralyzed because I have too many dreams/hopes/aspirations and yet not real direction to get started in. As many hopes as I have, I have an equal number of questions that I feel like I must answer before I can start out in any direction.
Saturday night the Lord unexpectedly led me to the O.T. and as I read about the temple it became very clear to me that we are the temple of God and there are lessons/clues to be learned by studying this. Of course, I know that we are the temple of God but somehow what He was showing me was different. I caught a glimpse of a perspective I have never seen before. I have not yet “unpacked” it and so cannot really speak about it, but on Sunday the Pastor I listened to began to speak also about the same thing… reinforcing that there is a lesson here for me. As I listened I just kept asking God…”How??”… “how is this possible…I really have no idea even where to begin.”
As I was checking my emails before bed I saw someone sent me an email with a link to a video. It can be found at:
http://www.flickspire.com/m/Share_This/changeforadollar?lsid=161f9da9b7692b6854ca64548e80ab61
It touched me very deeply… not just sentimentally… but as if it was the answer to my question. I see now so clearly that the place to start (besides loving God with my whole heart and being in a relationship with Him) is to just love whoever is in front of me as if on a divine mission…. with whatever I have… no matter how small or big. I have decided that I will truly trust God to place whomever He has for me to impact in front of me and to give me the seeds to sow. Suddenly, I am free! I can just be about doing this (although admittedly very hard at times) and leave the rest to Him. I know this is all very basic stuff, but for me it removes all the worries of inferiority, worries of missing my opportunities, worries of not serving Him well, worries that I have taken my family in the wrong direction and most of all it removes the micro-managing that my mind likes to do… the same micro-managing that I will have to let go of to truly live Kingdom life. Amazing…. God is SO GOOD!
I was at work one day and He spoke to me “I prune that which is not for you and cause to remain that which is…. TRUST ME IN THIS.” I wrote it down on a stickie and then forgot about it. As I shuffled through some papers I saw it again and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been known to try to “superglue back on” the things in my life that have been broken… rather than just accepting and trusting that if that friendship (or whatever) was from Him, HE will cause it to remain. Is it just me or is almost everything about truly Trusting Him?
Lord, I am so thankful for the lessons you so patiently teach us. Amen.